I iron out the creases…meticulously,
Iron out the memories.
Like particularly stubborn creases,
From the fabric of my life…

Each neatly folded garment,
Is another piece of the puzzle.
Put into place.
I’m almost done now.

Each job well done,
Is a reassurance
That the healing has begun.
I’m getting back on my feet.

My quiet, organized world,
Is recovering, rearranging itself.
I’m getting over you,
Meticulously…one crease at a time!

I walk through my mind…lanes and by-lanes…places I remember, faces I recognize, names I recall…I know these people.
I sift through memories…some precious, and I put them away in neat little stacks, some I don’t keep at all.
I sort confusion, organize chaos…carefully arranging it all in the right order.
Then there’s you…suddenly. And I stop dead.
My quiet, organized world falls apart…like a house of cards.
Shattered…pieces of my soul, no, I can’t put it all back together.

You’re the exception to my rules…you’re my undoing.
When I get to you, I lose…I drown, sink without a trace.
The same me…calm, level-headed me…who always keeps track of time, pays the bills, shoulders responsibility…
I fall apart.
And I love it…every minute of it.
I know this isn’t right…but it just IS, and I can’t change that.

And now I’m losing control…you’re taking over…
Don’t let me fall.

There’s this song I keep listening to…our song. A song that says everything that was and wasn’t there…everything that I ever wanted to say.
Maybe you’ve heard the song…just never the way I meant it.
It’s just a song…and this is just a story…forgotten easily.
Familiar tune…but I can’t remember the words…’I remember the face, but I can’t recall the name’.
People forget…it’s not easy, but they always do.
Find strangers along the way…with new stories…you always forget the old ones...the ugly, unfinished ones.
Must be easy.

lalalalalala :)

Somehow, it’s not comforting to think that you’re going through the same thing I am. That you’re suffering as much…longing for someone…as much as I long for you.

Not comforting to think that you’re in pain.
I want you to be happy.

I want her to find you, to understand you. I want you to find your ‘happily ever after’.
I‘ll just keep looking for mine.

I understand what you’re feeling…only too well. But you deserve better.
You’ve closed the door and moved on…but you’ve kept her…like a well guarded secret, somewhere in your heart.
Like I’ve kept you.

But I hope you win…even if it means that I lose.

I just want to know her…is she beautiful? Enchanting?
Like you…?

Somehow, your smile is what I want to remember…want to keep.
Not your hurt. You’ve taken that with you…

I want her to see you…want you to find each other.
Want you to finish your story, even if it means I can never finish mine.

Love is a strange thing…


But I’m not letting go, somewhere in my heart, you’re still mine…fiercely, strongly, completely mine…I’m not sharing you with anyone.
Not letting go.

Of secrets and unfinished stories…

Your story and mine. We’re not the same.
But very alike.

Persistent silence, loneliness, darkness.
Yes, you’re gone.

Help me feel better.
This isn’t right…and I don’t even know what’s wrong with it.
Maybe it’s just me, maybe everything’s fine really.

But you don’t know.




So I can stop now…give up…
My reason’s gone.

I need a hug.

Stop caring…leave…no, don’t.
Stay, I need you…

No reason to stay…no way to leave…are you taking me home?


Should I remember this? Or forget?
Can I…forget?
Go…good luck to you.
It’s your day. All about you…
You always wanted this.

Not me…I’m done…finished…
It’s over.

Let the numbness set in…
Settle in.
Turn up the volume,
Shut out the world…

Sometimes you invest too much in a relationship…let him disappoint you.
Not because you’re stupid (well, I’m not saying you’re not!), but because you want to.

Because it’s all you can do, you let the whole mess get to you…and it confirms what you’ve believed all along…that you’re not good enough, not worth caring for.

Then you hate him…but he didn’t promise you anything.
You made promises to yourself.
Who’s at fault, then?

So you move on…no, you wait…for this to be over, and for someone completely new and different to simply walk in…
But you know that’s not going to happen.
And you wait.